


Coming Undone

by Zoi no miko (zoi_no_miko)



Category: Primeval
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 01:35:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoi_no_miko/pseuds/Zoi%20no%20miko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Matt discovers that letting himself feel isn't such a bad thing after all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Undone

Matt isn't quite sure how it happens. Ethan's been his charge for three months, the end result of a long fight between Quinn and Lester - the one claiming his brother's rehabilitation, the value his experience can bring to the organization; the other refusing to allow the risk of his freedom. In the end Ethan ends up with a state of the art GPS tracker on his ankle and a bed in what used to be Matt's office. Even now he's not quite sure how he ended up as Ethan's caretaker, except that he saw in both brothers a degree of similarity: in Quinn, the desperation of a man who had fought his entire life for something only to find it slipping through his grasp; in Ethan the kind of lonliness and isolation that came with spending a life traveling through the anomalies.

Lester can't trust Ethan with Quinn. Too much of a conflict of interest. So Matt volunteers. And takes him home.

It's difficult at first to trust him, especially when Matt had for so long convinced himself that Ethan was the focal point of his mission. He knows that it's false, now, and he can see that the wildness of insanity in Ethan's eyes is gone. But slowly, gradually his instincts stop screaming alarm at the sight of the man. Slowly they begin to talk, and Matt recognizes a loneliness in Ethan's eyes that has replaced the madness that had been there, and it's something that's too familiar to him for Matt to ignore. He finds himself confiding in his housemate the same way he once confided in Emily, and more; tales of the future, of his dread for the fate of mankind and the earth. Of his fear that he'll never truly complete his mission. He watches Ethan listen, watches the quiet intelligence behind his eyes, and finds solace in the telling.

The night that it happens Matt comes to understand that everything they'd done had just been a lead-up to this, though he'd never realized it before now. It had been a successful day at the ARC - the rare kind of success where the operation went off completely without a hitch and without injury or unanticipated expense. They'd found an anomaly that dated to the Pliocene that was not only big enough for a Mammoth but also lead to a suitable area of the world for Mammoth survival. Transporting the beast back through the anomaly had gone completely according to plan, and Lester had been so pleased to have the expense of the Mammoth off the books that he'd given them all a hundred quid bonus and given them the rest of the Friday off. While Connor and Abby had made tracks for the seaside and Danny had gone off with Becker and the special forces lads to the pub, Matt had quietly bought wine and lobster tails and spent the afternoon cooking under Ethan's quiet observation.

With dinner finished and both bottles of wine near empty, Matt sits back at the dinner table and closes his eyes for a moment against the golden light of the setting sun that streams through the windows of his apartment. For a brief time he lets himself forget about everything but the warm comfort of the moment, his limbs fuzzy and relaxed from the wine, completely content from good food and good company. For a moment his mission doesn't matter. He opens his eyes to find Ethan watching him from across the table, contemplative.

"My brother's gay," Ethan says simply, almost conversationally, and Matt stares at him in confusion for a moment, willing his mind to catch up and interpret what the other man has just said. It's a strange thing to contemplate when he's been raised to view sex as essential to procreation and human survival, when he's been raised to set aside personal desires that were, while not deviant, certainly detrimental to their species. While part of him has always known that this time is different, his focus has always been on his mission. Should only be on his mission.

"Oh," he says finally, the only response he can manage.

When Ethan smiles, it suddenly feels like the world has ceased spinning, that the clocks have stopped mid-tock. It's completely surreal, and Matt almost feels like he's an observer, staring at his own features and Ethan's, thrown into harsh relief in the golden light of the setting sun. He watches himself move to sit next to Ethan, reaching to touch the side of his face; watches Ethan smile again and move closer, bringing their mouths together.

When they kiss everything around him rushes to catch up, Matt's strange detachment dissappearing in a surge of real and here and now. He is nothing but warmth, lips sliding against Ethan's, nothing but the taste of butter and lobster and the tartness of the wine. He is the frantic pounding of his heart, the pulse of blood in his veins, the shock of arousal that shoots down his spine to his cock, makes his fingers tangle in black curls and pull Ethan closer, closer, closer. He lets himself finally open up to the possibility of all these things that he's locked away and never allowed himself to think about, like the slide of flesh against flesh, the taste of passion as he licks into Ethan's mouth. He lets himself contemplate the possibility of Ethan, of bright, intelligent eyes and a quicksilver smile, of nimble, slender fingers that are just as capable of murder as they are of pleasure and are currently cupping the back of his neck and sliding up his thigh.

"Want you," Ethan murmurs against his mouth, representing in that moment everything that Matt is not, everything he shouldn't, can't be. But the slide of Ethan's mouth against his, the warmth of his hand on his thigh burns away words like shouldn't and can't and mission, fire licking at the carefully built walls he's constructed around himself to ensure his survival. For once Matt wants nothing more than to let himself feel instead of think, feel something so intensely that he can't consider anything else. So his fingers move from Ethan's hair, tugging frantically at shirt buttons as his mouth claims the rough skin of his throat, sucking on the salt of his skin, reveling in the feel of his pulse under his lips, in the scratch of the man's beard.

He's not completely certain how they end up in his bed or how they end up naked, heated skin against the cool sheets. His mind is too focused on the freedom of Ethan's body, on tasting everything he can reach, his mouth pressed to his throat, his shoulders, the inside of his elbows. To the pads of those nimble, dangerous fingers, kissing each in turn and sucking them into his mouth. It crosses his mind briefly that he shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't be allowing himself to be so vulnerable with someone who can be so dangerous, but the low, keening moan of need from Ethan's throat distracts him completely, makes him devour that mouth with kisses, gasping for breath against his mouth. They're both hard, achingly hard, the thickness of Ethan's erection pressed against his stomach as he kneels over him, bodies rocking together slowly.

Ethan's hands stroke over his hair, his back, his ass, trembling and needy, and the other man rocks up against him a little more urgently. He gives a little desperate sound of need as Matt's teeth bite down at his collarbone, one hand tangling in his hair. "Please. Oh god, Matt, please!"

Please is Ethan on his knees and forearms in front of him, all pale skin and dark curls and beautifully defined strength. Please is his slicked cock pressed against a perfect, tight ass, a cry from Ethan's lips that is all at once needy and triumphant as Matt rocks inside him. It's as much about Ethan fucking him as him fucking Ethan, the other man rocking back against his cock almost desperately, breathing in shuddering cries of pleasure and gasps for more, harder. Matt lets his desire take control, answering Ethan's pleas, mouth pressed to the back of his neck to taste sweat and musk and Ethan. He lets himself pound into his newfound lover's tight heat until all Ethan can do is gasp and move with him, his breath in little fucked-out moans, the tight heat of his body shuddering around Matt's cock. He doesn't think about what this will mean and how it will change things, because in this moment all that matters is the heat between them, the lust that burns bright and vibrant inside him, mixing with the adoration that he realizes he's felt for this beautiful enigma of a man for quite some time.

Time has become immaterial; nothing exists in the world but Ethan, nothing is important but moving with him just so, feeling the tight heat of Ethan's body clench and shudder around his cock. Ethan gasps his name helplessly, again and again until he comes with a cry, bucking back against Matt's cock and arching up into his embrace as Matt kisses the back of his neck breathlessly. It only takes a few thrusts for Matt to follow, closing his eyes to embrace the ecstacy that rushes though his being, bright and hot and overwheming. He burries his face in Ethan's curls, finally crying out, unable to keep so much feeling locked inside him any longer.

Afterwards they curl together quietly, still coming down, and Matt feels like every nerve in his body is singing with joy and well being. He smiles as he strokes his fingers through Ethan's hair, watching the play of dark curls around his fingers, watching Ethan smile in return.

"I knew you were in there somewhere," Ethan says quietly, still smiling, fingers stroking slow circles on Matt's chest. "I've been waiting to see the real you. You hide it so well."

"I suppose I do,"Matt replies slowly, though he hadnt thought of it as hiding before now; simply the way he'd been raised to be. It feels good, though, to let go. At least around Ethan. He leans in to bring their mouths together, kissing him long and warm and tender, feeling Ethan's body relax more against him, curling closer. "Thank you,"

Ethan's smile widens. "Just promise you'll let me see you a little more often?"

"I think I can manage that," Matt replies, smiling, feeling a warm surge of affection at the thought of taking Ethan to bed again and spending the night with the other man asleep in his arms.

"And perhaps don't tell my brother quite yet."

Matt laughs, and places a warm kiss to Ethan's temple. "Deal."


End file.
